Blog of a Newly Minted Housewife 2006-07-19T21:27:59Z Blog of a Newly Minted Housewife tag:www.karentoensfeldt.com,2006://1 Movable Type Copyright (c) 2006, Karen Field Trips! 2006-07-19T21:27:59Z 2006-07-19T14:27:59-08:00 tag:www.karentoensfeldt.com,2006://1.103 2006-07-19T21:27:59Z Last summer, James and I made a list of things (locations, restaurants, experiences) we wanted to share with each other, or that we'd wanted to do and figured would be better done together. We dusted that list off this summer, since we are both free, and have been doing one or two activities a week.... Karen karentoensfeldt@comcast.net Interesting People and Places Last summer, James and I made a list of things (locations, restaurants, experiences) we wanted to share with each other, or that we'd wanted to do and figured would be better done together. We dusted that list off this summer, since we are both free, and have been doing one or two activities a week.

]]> Yesterday's field trip was to The Oregon Garden, which is less than an hour away in Silverton. The garden is only a few years old, so a lot of the plantings are not mature yet, but they have a few areas of older plantings that are left from previous owners. Or, in the case of a 400 year old oak tree, from "wilderness" times.

It is a beautiful place, and I can only imagine how much more beautiful it will be in ten or twenty years. There are different themed gardens - a sensory garden, wetlands, a children's garden, a "market" garden that features fruits and vegetables - and plenty of paths to connect them. There is a pavilion for flower and garden shows, and ampitheater for concerts, and of course a wedding area. There are also several sculptures, reflecting ponds, insects, birds, and frogs. Supposedly there are deer in the "rediscovery forest," but we didn't see any.

We did see lots of people at the extremes. It seemed everyone there was either very old or had young children. The young kids were the best. I heard one tell his mom, "I watched the bee, Mommy. I watched the bee!" It sounded like he'd watched it go from flower to flower for a while. It was so cute!

One of the strangest things we saw were these trees that James thought were straight out of a Dr. Seuss book. I think they are called weeping spruce, but I didn't take notes :-)

Here is a frog and, from the same pond, a waterlilly.

The view from one bench was across the garden, into the Willamette Valley, and to the coast range beyond. And in one pool, it was the reflection of the sculpture and the tree.

One of the reasons I wanted to visit the garden was to get ideas for my own yard. I didn't see too many special things that caught my eye, but James really liked these giant white daisies. Hopefully we can find out what they are. He also liked this rudbekia, and I'm glad because it is already on my "to plant" list :-)

]]> Summer Holidays 2006-07-09T04:42:23Z 2006-07-08T21:42:23-08:00 tag:www.karentoensfeldt.com,2006://1.102 2006-07-09T04:42:23Z It was a warm day in Portland today - 88 or 91, depending on which news channel you beleive. I'm sitting on my back patio, enjoying the smell of grass being watered and jumping every time a late firework goes off at my neighbor's house down the way.... Karen karentoensfeldt@comcast.net Cool Haps It was a warm day in Portland today - 88 or 91, depending on which news channel you beleive. I'm sitting on my back patio, enjoying the smell of grass being watered and jumping every time a late firework goes off at my neighbor's house down the way.

]]> As warm as it was today, it was nothing compared to the weather the weekend after James was set free for the summer. That weekend, it reached 102, hot by pretty much any standards, and scorching for Portland. Luckily, we weren't here. A teacher at James' school lent us her "beach house" for the weekend, and we stayed an extra day to escape the heat.

The house isn't really on the beach; none of them are on that strech of the coast. It was just across the highway, however. And it backs onto this little canal, which was serene and peaceful. And cool. Getting away straight after the end of school was terrific. It gave both James and I a chance to relax away from the pressure of the house "honey do" list.

While we were dutifully ignoring the peeling paint discovered under the wallpaper (a subject for another entry), we developed a little "vacation" routine. Watch the first World Cup match of the day while eating breakfast, take Addie to the beach for an hour or so, then watch another World Cup match while eating lunch. Then a nap, or maybe a trek to one of the nearby towns to window shop, or eat ice cream, or check out the bargains at the outlet mall. One day, we got massages.

Every evening, after dinner, we'd go out onto the deck and enjoy the stillness. Until, that is, these guys would show up, demanding their own dinner - pieces of bread. That white goose? He was the ring leader, the squeaky wheel. But I tried not to give him more than his share. He protested loudly every time someone else "stole" his wad of bread, though.

We were able to take Addie with us in this trip, which was a blessing. It's hard to believe sometimes that she is still around, and when she's right there, it's hard to believe she'll be 14 in a couple of months! I don't like the thought of having to board her, or leaving her alone for more than a couple of days (with a dog sitter, which we did a week later). As you can see, she wanted some of the ducks' bread for her own. I confess, we spoiled her with a piece or two!

James' parents were here for a visit over the Fourth of July, and we spent another couple of days at the coast - different town. The day we returned, there was a block party, so we got to spend some more time with the neighbors. And my in-laws helped us with house work while they were here. We were going to dig out the dirt to push back the retaining wall, but decided that was too strenuous. Instead, we took out some of the semi-tropicals which were crowding one backyard bed, did a lot of other yard work, some hedge trimming, that sort of thing. My mother-in-law even washed some windows, something I never think of doing! What a bad housewife I'm turing out to be ;-)

James is giving piano and drum lessons this summer, every Wednesday. I'm having to find ways to fill those days. So far, it's been the usual - too much time online! But this weekend, I'm hoping to hit the local library for the first time, get a library card, and check out some summer reading material. Maybe go to the movies.

Life is chugging along. A little too fast, I think, at times. And a little too slowly at others.



]]> Routines 2006-06-08T15:08:30Z 2006-06-08T08:08:30-08:00 tag:www.karentoensfeldt.com,2006://1.101 2006-06-08T15:08:30Z My new housewifey routine goes something like this: Get up after my husband, but in time to sit with him and have some coffee before he goes to work. Sometimes I also eat with him, but more often I hold off on food for another hour. Make the bed (sort-of - we just have a sheet and a queen-sized comforter on our new king-sized bed, so I just straighten everything to make it look neat). Do the dishes, which is mostly just putting the breakfast dishes in the dishwasher, but is sometimes also emptying the dishwasher or washing something by hand. Clean out the coffee pot. Watch the morning news shows. Spend way too much time reading my friends' blogs and checking the few writing-industry blogs I frequent. Somewhere in there I go to the gym and shower.... Karen karentoensfeldt@comcast.net My new housewifey routine goes something like this: Get up after my husband, but in time to sit with him and have some coffee before he goes to work. Sometimes I also eat with him, but more often I hold off on food for another hour. Make the bed (sort-of - we just have a sheet and a queen-sized comforter on our new king-sized bed, so I just straighten everything to make it look neat). Do the dishes, which is mostly just putting the breakfast dishes in the dishwasher, but is sometimes also emptying the dishwasher or washing something by hand. Clean out the coffee pot. Watch the morning news shows. Spend way too much time reading my friends' blogs and checking the few writing-industry blogs I frequent. Somewhere in there I go to the gym and shower.

]]> How I spend the rest of my day depends on the to-do list and the calendar. Do I have an appointment? Something particular that needs to be done today? Is there a contractor coming for something? Yesterday, it was the pest control guy, which meant I had to leave the house for two hours. Luckily, I had a list of errands to run. UPS store, post office, bank, oil change.

I did all of that and still had time left over. Driving up the highway from the oil change, I saw a sign for a park. I remember reading about this park on the county website, and checking it out on Google Maps. It seemed big on the satellite photo, so I decided to check it out. It wasn't hard to get to, but you'd never know it was there if there weren't signs. The big circle road I'd seen on satellite was closed for construction of some sort, and most of what I could see were reservation-only group picnic areas. I was kind of disappointed, but since I had the dog with me (and I'd been in the car for over an hour, thanks to drive-through everything), I chose to get out and walk around. Lo and behold, beyond the trees - a dog park! Or, as it was labeled, the "dog exercise area."

My pup is getting too old to do too much running around, but she had a great time trotting around the edges of the large (40x100 feet?) area and sniffing and marking. There were a couple of other dogs there, and she sniffed around them, too, and then ignored them. One pretty little pit bull kept coming back, hoping my pup would play, I guess. In years past, she would have, but yesterday she just returned the butt-sniff and went on her way.

As did we, once I realized it was OK to go home. I spent a couple of hours reading my book after lunch, and then met James at the gym. We had leftovers for dinner and watched "The New World" on DVD.

It's all very exciting, isn't it?

]]> Getting my hands dirty 2006-06-01T17:31:44Z 2006-06-01T10:31:44-08:00 tag:www.karentoensfeldt.com,2006://1.100 2006-06-01T17:31:44Z At the end of the day, it is extremely gratifying to be able to look at something and see how you made it different from what it was a few hours ago. Doing laundry and cleaning toilets just don't have the same sense of accomplishment, and sometimes cooking is frustrating when the result of an hour's work is gone in mere minutes. But with gardening? The results can be seen and touched and sometimes eaten for an entire season, or even for years to come. Karen karentoensfeldt@comcast.net We've had a rainy couple of weeks here in Portland. In some ways it's been good for me. The rain and gray skies are perfect for staying inside and curling up with a good book, or watching a long-put-off video.

On the other hand, the rain and gray skies are perfect for sitting on my butt and not getting much done. The floors still haven't been mopped, I am finally doing the laundry today, and there are days when I wonder if I'll make a good housewife after all.

But then there are good days like yesterday, when the weather was dry and I was able to actually tick projects off my list. Although perhaps not as important as laundry, getting some color into the yard was tops on my list. The front yard was professionally landscaped with low-water-need plants several years ago, but it is BORING. Lots and lots of green, a couple of Japanese maples for color, and that was it. There are several of the plants we aren't happy with and want to rip out, but we haven't developed an overall plan yet. So, I knew if I put a lot of stuff into the ground now, it might just have to come out in a month or two. Luckily, one of the main plants - a big gray thing - was actually dead when we moved in. And it was in a pot! So, I ripped it out, filled the pot with a bag of potting soil, and filled it with some colorful plants. Most of these are annuals that will only last a couple of months anyway, and the rest are perennials that will most likely find a place in the permanent plan.

The backyard was a little more tricky. The plants here, while no more exciting, are more densely planted. Then there is the problem of this giant ivy-covered telephone pole smack in the middle of the lawn. It definitely has to go, but it's little island was the only place to add some color without a lot of removal of plants that might or might not have a place in my yard (as opposed to the yard that we have now, which is still very much imprinted with the personality of the previous owners, including a plethora of wooden birdhouses stuck here and there, including in the middle of the hedge.)

These annuals are actually left-overs from what I bought for the front flowerpot. I knew I was buying too much, but I wanted to be able to pick and choose what went in that pot. Everything else went back here. But now I find the space isn't full. Guess I need to go buy a few more plants! ;-)

On the not-so-happy side of things, we discovered our shed has termites and needs to come down. We wanted to take it out anyway - it half covers the bathroom window! - but now the process is accelerated. We also have a carpenter ant nest in the front, so spraying is in order and will happen next week. And I spent the morning researching fencing contractors on Angie's List, which I've been finding very helpful for finding reliable contractors.

The pest inspector recommended trimming back the plants in front of the house so that the house can "breathe." My dad is visiting, and he helped me with the new electric hedge trimmers (Yea! for new toys!), then took over. Together we started a little spate of massive pruning which led to the removal of three hated juniper-type bushes across the front of the house. Next week, I will probably plant a rose bush in one of the holes.

Speaking of roses, this pretty one is along our back patio. It's a climber, supposedly, and I've gotten a few pricks trying to tie it back to the trellis. It's was the one bit of color in the back after the azaleas faded and before I planted the annuals yesterday.

It felt incredibly good to be out in the yard doing yesterday, especially getting my hands in the dirt and planting things. I've missed that more than I realized, and now I have an itch to get out there and do more. Aside from the primitive good feelings of dirt under fingernails, it is the concreteness of the end result that I really appreciate. At the end of the day, it is extremely gratifying to be able to look at something and see how you made it different from what it was a few hours ago.

Doing laundry and cleaning toilets just don't have the same sense of accomplishment, and sometimes cooking is frustrating when the result of an hour's work is gone in mere minutes. But with gardening? The results can be seen and touched and sometimes eaten for an entire season, or even for years to come.

]]> What I've been doing with my days 2006-05-26T16:31:39Z 2006-05-26T09:31:39-08:00 tag:www.karentoensfeldt.com,2006://1.99 2006-05-26T16:31:39Z I've been having a lot of lazy time this week, but it hasn't all been pedicures and bon-bons. (Do people actually eat bon-bons anymore?). This week has been filled with visits from various contractors, mostly giving quotes.... Karen karentoensfeldt@comcast.net Cool Haps I've been having a lot of lazy time this week, but it hasn't all been pedicures and bon-bons. (Do people actually eat bon-bons anymore?). This week has been filled with visits from various contractors, mostly giving quotes.

]]> On Monday, we had a free pest inspection, and found out one of the reasons our falling-down shed is in that state - TERMITES! Yikes. We thought their quote was high, though, so we are shopping around. I think a diagnosis of termites is a bit like cancer - very scary, and you want to do something about it RIGHT NOW, but it's best to take a deep breath and weigh your options.

Monday and Wednesday, we had different contractors in to talk about putting an acrylic liner in our tub. We considered ripping it out and putting in a new one, with Corian walls (like my sister has), but decided we couldn't afford it. This option is actually more expensive than I thought it would be, but I think it will work out well. (Still need to figure out the vanity/countertop replacement, but at least that area is functional at the moment. it just isn't pretty.)


Also on Wednesday, the piano tuner came. James inherited his grandparents' piano, and it arrived via truck from Albuquerque about a month ago. The tuning was as noisy as he warned me it would be, but instead of finding it annoying, I found it fascinating. I asked him lots of questions and halfway through his "lecture" I found myself thinking about what a cool article it might make for a kid's music magazine. Unfortunately, I didn't have a tape recorder or notebook handy, so I've forgotten most of what he told me. But I did manage to get some photos.

Apparently, they don't tune by ear anymore :-) He had this cool device that measures the pitch (?) and he would tap the "hammer", attached to the nut-thingy (see who well I paid attention??), to adjust the tension on the wire. Some of the keys are attached to two or three wires, and he would use rubber dampers to listen to only one wire at a time. He told me what some of the parts were inside the piano, and taught me some music terms and what to listen for. I'm not sure if he was pleased to find that I wasn't music (giving him the opportunity to teach me something), or if he was frustrated by it (forcing him to teach me something...).


I also spent some time replacing the handles on the drawers and doors in the kitchen. I'm not sure how different the new ones are from the old, but they are at least new, and chrome instead of brass. (That's new on the left, old on the right.) They also feel better, a crucial improvement.

Unfortunately, getting this close up to the cabinets showed me all the nicks, scars, and peeling varnish. They aren't in as good of shape as they look. Well, we're going to have to live with it for a while. *shrug*

]]> Sliding into normal 2006-05-25T16:59:57Z 2006-05-25T09:59:57-08:00 tag:www.karentoensfeldt.com,2006://1.98 2006-05-25T16:59:57Z Somehow, I've spent the past year slipping from "living a life less ordinary" to one of suburban normalcy. I am now, officially, a housewife. At least for the summer.... Karen karentoensfeldt@comcast.net Cool Haps Somehow, I've spent the past year slipping from "living a life less ordinary" to one of suburban normalcy. I am now, officially, a housewife.

At least for the summer.

]]> I quit my job a couple of weeks ago, and last Friday was my last day. What a relief! Not that the job or the company were horrible - far from it. It just felt like time to leave, time to reassess and figure out where I am and where I want to go.

Summer is a great time to do it, since my dear husband is also off for the summer. We can do a lot together, most likely centering on the house, but hopefully also doing some day trips for sightseeing, hiking, what have you.

I'm really looking forward to it.

OK, speaking of the new house, here are some photos. Front and back, the living room before and after (different views), and smallest bedroom (one day a nursery) before and after.







This is all the trash we pulled out the first weekend. Huge thanks to my sister and James' brother for helping us out that cold weekend!

And if you haven't received my new address yet, well, don't worry! I haven't sent out that email. One more thing to add to my "honey-do" list :-)

]]> Fundraiser for Breast Cancer Support 2006-05-11T02:32:45Z 2006-05-10T19:32:45-08:00 tag:www.karentoensfeldt.com,2006://1.97 2006-05-11T02:32:45Z I really should have posted this a week or more ago, so I apologize off the bat for the short notice. On Mother's Day (yes, that's THIS Sunday!) I am participating in a fundraising walk for the Y-Me Breast Cancer Support Foundation. My sister Lisa and a bunch of my friends are also participating, spurred on by Stacey Meyer, a former soccer teammate, who works for Genomic Health. Genomic Health is actually flying me to California so that I can participate in honor of Mom.... Karen karentoensfeldt@comcast.net I really should have posted this a week or more ago, so I apologize off the bat for the short notice. On Mother's Day (yes, that's THIS Sunday!) I am participating in a fundraising walk for the Y-Me Breast Cancer Support Foundation. My sister Lisa and a bunch of my friends are also participating, spurred on by Stacey Meyer, a former soccer teammate, who works for Genomic Health. Genomic Health is actually flying me to California so that I can participate in honor of Mom.

]]> From the Y-Me website:
Y-ME National Breast Cancer Organization provides programs and services to those who are touched by breast cancer. The 24-hour Y-ME National Breast Cancer Hotline is among its most well-known programs, and is the only 24-hour hotline in the country that is staffed entirely by trained peer counselors who are breast cancer survivors. The Hotline and all of Y-ME's programs are offered free of charge to those who need them. Y-ME aims to ensure that no one faces breast cancer alone and I hope that you will help me support this important cause.

If you would like to donate, you can visit my personal walk page.

Thank you.

]]> Sad News 2006-04-06T02:32:28Z 2006-04-05T19:32:28-08:00 tag:www.karentoensfeldt.com,2006://1.96 2006-04-06T02:32:28Z I don't know how many people still read this blog, or have it on their RSS feeds, but I have some sad news to share.... Karen karentoensfeldt@comcast.net Rantin' and Ravin' I don't know how many people still read this blog, or have it on their RSS feeds, but I have some sad news to share.

]]> On Saturday, April 1, 2006, my mom lost her three-year battle with breast cancer. We will be having a memorial - a Celebration of Life - on Sunday, April 30th.

I will be turning over the front page of my web site in order to disseminate changing information about the service in the most timely manner. This blog will resume sometime in May. Or not, since I haven't really been keeping it up. I'll make that decision when the time comes.

On other, happier news, James and I bought a house in February. I had hoped to post some photos here. Again, maybe in May. If you'd like our new address, please use the email link.

]]> First Month-a-versary 2005-11-03T01:43:48Z 2005-11-02T17:43:48-08:00 tag:www.karentoensfeldt.com,2005://1.95 2005-11-03T01:43:48Z One month ago (OK, a month and a day...) James and I were married. It was a very small ceremony, and I know many people would have liked to attend. Since that wasn't possible, I hearby present the text of the ceremony and some beautiful photos. I hope you enjoy them!... Karen karentoensfeldt@comcast.net One month ago (OK, a month and a day...) James and I were married. It was a very small ceremony, and I know many people would have liked to attend. Since that wasn't possible, I hearby present the text of the ceremony and some beautiful photos. I hope you enjoy them!

]]> James' brother, Rick, acted as our officiant.

RICK: Welcome everyone. Karen & James are so happy that you could join them on this special day as they join their hearts and their lives in marriage.


Karen and James, our wish for you today is that your marriage will bring you much happiness and joy. Happiness in marriage is not something that just happens. A good marriage must be created. The creation of marriage is:
…in never being too old to hold hands.
It is remembering to say "I love you" at least once a day.
It is speaking words of appreciation and demonstrating gratitude.
It is encouraging flexibility, patience, and understanding.
It is finding a place for humor and playfulness.
It is appreciating creativity and artistry in all aspects of life.
It is knowing how to work together and compromise.
It is giving each other an atmosphere in which each can grow.
It is searching for the good and the beautiful in all things.
It is establishing a relationship in which independence is equal, and dependence is mutual.
It is giving and receiving love with your whole heart.
It is two people standing together facing life.

At this time, Karen and James will exchange vows.

JAMES: The Power of 3

3 things - I love about you…
- your creativity and imagination
- your strength and independence
- your kind heart and beautiful spirit

3 things - I love about us…
- our playfulness, the silly and childlike moments that I treasure every day
- always being there for each other to comfort and support in times of need
- that we teach each other what we know and learn new things together

3 promises – I promise to…
- always be there when you need me
- listen to you, as an attentive and compassionate partner
- devote my whole heart to the life we are creating together

The power of 3 – you, me, and (down the road) our baby will make 3

I love you!

KAREN: I first fell in love with the creative and talented soul I met in an art museum, the man with whom I shared so many "me, too" moments that it became more than a little scary. As time passed and I came to know the many facets of your soul, I found that I loved you even more – the goofy side that lets you be silly with the first graders, and with me; the wit who matches my every verbal parry; the talented musician who has so much music itching to get out into the world. But most of all, I love my Jamie, who lays beside me and shares with me his heart and his soul, the man who reminds me every day about the woman I am and the woman I can be, the man who makes me feel safe and loved and who brings color and joy to all of my days. James, you are words to me, and water and life. For that and for so much more, I promise to honor and to cherish all the parts of you I've come to love so well, and those parts I have yet to discover. I promise to be there for you in your times of need, as I know you will be there for me. And I promise to never walk over the top of you, but to always walk beside you and hold your hand. I love you.

RICK: James, do you take Karen for your lawfully wedded wife?

James: I do.

RICK: Karen, do you take James for your lawfully wedded husband?

KAREN: I do

RICK: The rings, please.

(hand ring to James)


James: Let this ring encircle your finger as my love will forever encircle you.


(RICK hand ring to KAREN)


KAREN: Let this ring encircle your finger as my love will forever encircle you.


RICK: Karen, James, I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss.

(SMOOCHING!!)












]]> What I did on my summer vacation... 2005-10-16T22:36:51Z 2005-10-16T15:36:51-08:00 tag:www.karentoensfeldt.com,2005://1.94 2005-10-16T22:36:51Z Hard to believe it's been a year since I moved to Portland. The time went by so fast. And so much changed in my life! Just take a look at the past few months travels...... Karen karentoensfeldt@comcast.net Hard to believe it's been a year since I moved to Portland. The time went by so fast. And so much changed in my life! Just take a look at the past few months travels...

]]> July trip to New Mexico & southern Colorado to meet James' family

It's a long trip from sea-level Portland to the mile-high-plus Colorado plateau

Lots of family to meet

And places to see

In August, we met the rest of Karen's family in San Diego for a "beach" vacation and some wedding prep work.

And the capper of them all, although I guess technically summer was over by then, on October 1st, James and I were married on Mission Beach in San Diego.




More photos and the full ceremony text to come, once we receive the photos from the photographer (these are all "snapshots.").

]]> Where have I been? 2005-08-11T04:08:44Z 2005-08-10T21:08:44-08:00 tag:www.karentoensfeldt.com,2005://1.93 2005-08-11T04:08:44Z You are all (two of you? Or is it three?) probably wondering where I've been.... Karen karentoensfeldt@comcast.net Miscellaneous You are all (two of you? Or is it three?) probably wondering where I've been.

]]> My life has been busy, mostly with travel. James and I made a week long visit to my parents in Cupertino in late June. We left Addie behind in California, where rumor has it she is greatly enjoying living with her grandparents again.

We arrived back in Portland on a Monday. That Tuesday was my first day as a "real" employee at the company where I'd been temping since May. It wasn't an easy decision, in many ways, to go back to work, and especially not at a job I wouldn't have looked twice at while trolling Monster or Craig's List. But it turned out to be the right decision. The job is fulfilling and challenging enough to keep me on my toes most days, but not so draining that I want to just drop into bed at the end of the day.

So, Tuesday at the new job. And Wednesday, and Thursday, and Friday. And at 4:15 in the morning on Saturday, James and I headed for the airport and our flight to Albuquerque. It was my first time meeting his parents. And his brother, grandfather, aunt...We were there for ten days. It was hard mostly because of the heat and the altitude. Going from Portland (72 degrees, 150 feet above sea level) to New Mexico (95 degress, 6000 feet above sea level) and then to Mesa Verde in southwestern Colorado (85 degress, 7000 feet above sea level) meant we were tired and hot and, yes, ocassionally cranky. But it was a terrific visit, overall. James' family made me feel very welcome and learning about a different side of my sweetie was fun.

We received pictures in the mail today, so hopefully I can post those soon.

When we returned from New Mexico, I had a surprise waiting for me in the mail - health insurance cards! It is the first time in almost four years that I have benefits, and I wasted no time in taking advantage. Within short order, I had appointments with a doctor and a dentist. I'd forgotten how much paperwork there is to fill out! Mostly I am in good health. Amazingly, no cavities or gum problems. And I was able to get an MRI of the knee I injured snowboarding last February (that would be 2004, the trip to Tahoe with Maria, James Jackson, Dave Quinn, and Matt Authment). Results tomorrow, so expect another post soon.

The reason I haven't posted any of this sooner - aside from being swamped with a new job, home decorating, going to the gym, and spending time with James - is that I was having computer problems. Very spotty, no big deal, just restart the darn thing, right? Except last week it wouldn't restart. Now, Macs are fairly easy to troubleshoot, but I did everything I know how to do, and everything I read on the support web site. Luckily, Apple just opened a store in downtown Portland, so I took it to their Genius Bar. But the Genius had no luck either, and my poor baby had to go to Tennesee for some TLC. I just got it back tonight, and I'm pleased to say it's working great, thanks to a brand new hard drive.

That's all I've got time and energy for at the moment, but I promise to post more, especially with the wedding coming up.

Oh, except probably for next week, when we will be on a Toensfeldt family vacation to San Diego, and I will finally get to meet my neice, Irene Richelle, who was born on June 25th. I can't wait!

]]> Believe 2005-06-18T04:19:56Z 2005-06-17T21:19:56-08:00 tag:www.karentoensfeldt.com,2005://1.92 2005-06-18T04:19:56Z Two weeks ago on Sunday, James asked me to marry him, and I said yes. Actually, I said, "Yes, of course!"... Karen karentoensfeldt@comcast.net Cool Haps Two weeks ago on Sunday, James asked me to marry him, and I said yes.

Actually, I said, "Yes, of course!"

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It was very Portland - we were drinking coffee, the dog lay on the floor next to us, and outside, a light rain was falling. There was no getting down on one knee, no big lead up. We were talking about what it means to be a couple, about supporting each other and helping each other past the doubts and through the hard times. So, in that way, it was very us, an everyday conversation leading to a life-changing moment.

It took much calendar-wrangling and discussion back and forth with our respective families, but we settled on a wedding date of October 1st, 2005. It will be a very small wedding, on the beach in San Diego. That's about as much as we've planned so far.

Today, our engagement rings arrived in the mail. Matching silver bands, engraved with the word Believe. That's what we've been doing since we met - believing in ourselves, believing in each other, believing in the power of love and of faith. Belief is a cornerstone of our relationship, and it will be a cornerstone of our marriage and of our lives.

I will continue to share in this space our belief, and our story, and our lives. I hope you continue to read along.

]]> Snowballs 2005-06-06T05:06:45Z 2005-06-05T22:06:45-08:00 tag:www.karentoensfeldt.com,2005://1.91 2005-06-06T05:06:45Z Have you ever had the feeling that circumstances of your life were snowballing, carrying you along whether you were ready to go or not? That's how I've felt that past two months or so. I have said time and again that moving to Portland was the best thing I ever did for myself, and that is truer today than it has ever been.... Karen karentoensfeldt@comcast.net Cool Haps Have you ever had the feeling that circumstances of your life were snowballing, carrying you along whether you were ready to go or not? That's how I've felt that past two months or so.

I have said time and again that moving to Portland was the best thing I ever did for myself, and that is truer today than it has ever been.

]]> In late May, James and I moved into a house in the Sellwood neighborhood of Portland.

The house is an older one, as we both wanted, but with an upgraded kitchen and bath. Addie has a small yard to call her own, and has been busy chasing away the squirrels and occasional neighborhood cat. There is a loft that is split almost perfectly in half by the stairs from below, and we have each claimed a side for our "offices." There is a ton of storage in the basement, as well as a washer and dryer. The management company has been very good about fixing all the small problems we found upon moving in.

(If you want my new contact information, and you haven't received an email from me, send me an email from the link on the front page.)

When we want to get out of the house, we have only to walk to the end of the street – about eight blocks – to get to a large park that looks over a reservoir and the river beyond. For indoor activities, we are on the edge of two business districts, with antique stores, cafés, three bus lines, two grocery stores, about three dozen restaurants, and the local branch library within close walking distance. The location places us smack between his workplace in West Linn, and mine in downtown Portland.

Yes, I have a job now. I started off as a temp, working through one of the many agencies in town. Soon, though, I will be a permanent employee of Vestas American Wind Systems. It isn't the copyediting job I might have hoped for, but as the Technical Documentation Coordinator, I'll still be working daily with words on paper.

Last week, we were able to dress up and walk to a nice Italian restaurant a block away to celebrate the "anniversary" of when we met. It hardly seems like only three months since we first set eyes on each other outside the Portland Art Museum. All the things we've done since. From a getaway in Astoria to rafting on the Klickitat River in Washington State, to attending local poetry readings, to just fixing dinner together and spending the evening talking – they have all reiterated our feelings and our commitment to each other. We've packed a lot into a short amount of time!

And we are looking forward to all the many things we will be able to do in the years to come, for the rest of our lives.


]]> Be You Blithe and Bonny 2005-04-22T19:47:46Z 2005-04-22T12:47:46-08:00 tag:www.karentoensfeldt.com,2005://1.90 2005-04-22T19:47:46Z I am happier right at this moment than I can remember being in a really long time. There. I said it out loud and nothing bad happened. I'm happy. Seriously, I'm sitting here grinning, all alone in my kitchen. The sun is out, the weather is warm, Addie is laying on the floor behind me, and there is a good song playing through iTunes.... Karen karentoensfeldt@comcast.net Cool Haps I am happier right at this moment than I can remember being in a really long time.

There. I said it out loud and nothing bad happened. I'm happy. Seriously, I'm sitting here grinning, all alone in my kitchen. The sun is out, the weather is warm, Addie is laying on the floor behind me, and there is a good song playing through iTunes.

]]> But, more importantly, I've fallen in love. In love with my new hometown, and in love with a wonderful man. I do believe moving to Portland was the single best decision I've made in my life, or at least in a really long time.

I met James through eHarmony. All the years I tried internet dating, and it never panned out for me. Until now. Our first date was at the Portland Art Museum, and we found out right away that we had a lot in common. Things just got better and better, and every day they get better. We share a trust and an intimacy that I've never experienced with anyone else. We make each other laugh, and we take care of each other, in myriad little ways.

We are in awe of each other's talents - my writing, and his music. James is a teacher, musician and composer. He teaches music at an elementary school, and is teaching me a little about the piano, as well. That's his main instrument, the piano, and what he uses to compose. I've seen him teach (he's great with the kids), and I've watched him play. He's come to my open mike night and heard some of my most powerful pieces of late.

We met two months ago on Tuesday, but it feels like we've known each other two years...or forever.

OK, I don't really know what else to say, except I feel extremely lucky to have found him. And he says the same thing about me. And since words are failing me right now, here are some photos...

(The entry title? He's teaching me to play a little of "Sigh No More" from the "Much Ado About Nothing" soundtrack, and that's one of the lyrics going through my head...In return, I'm going to teach him how to cook!)



]]> Reflecting 2005-03-29T03:57:21Z 2005-03-28T19:57:21-08:00 tag:www.karentoensfeldt.com,2005://1.89 2005-03-29T03:57:21Z There have been a lot of good things going on in my life lately, but I'm not going to talk about them right now. Instead, I want to write about the fragility of life, and about how quickly things can change. This is brought on in part by the Terri Schiavo case (and isn't it terrible how we refer to a person as a "case"??). But there have been some bad things touching my life in a much closer and more personal way in the past month.... Karen karentoensfeldt@comcast.net It's a Lonely Life There have been a lot of good things going on in my life lately, but I'm not going to talk about them right now. Instead, I want to write about the fragility of life, and about how quickly things can change.

This is brought on in part by the Terri Schiavo case (and isn't it terrible how we refer to a person as a "case"??). But there have been some bad things touching my life in a much closer and more personal way in the past month.

]]> Our family found out early this month that my mom's breast cancer has metastasized. We had high hopes that her earlier treatment - surgery, chemo, radiation - had done the job. But cancer is a tricky thing, and this one isn't giving up easily. Mom started chemo again last week and is battling on with her usual positive attitude.

I have been taking a novel workshop for a couple of months, and last week one of my classmates died suddenly of a blood clot in the brain. He woke up Saturday morning with a fierce headache and was dead before midnight.

This morning, my upstairs neighbor's girlfriend slipped on the steps and broke her ankle. She could have just as easily hit her head or broken a wrist.

All these things remind me how quickly life can turn on you. Life can go from good to bad - and the other direction - in the blink of an eye.

And I realized someone in the past two weeks that I don't have my wished written down anywhere, the ones that would tell people what I want to do if life turns its ugly head in my direction. No one wants to think about it, but we have to. Or we'll all end up in court, like Terri Shiavo. Or dead like my classmate with no say over what happens to us.

Until I can fill out an Advance Directive (something I should have done years ago) I'm going to put my wishes and my thoughts here.

My fundamental philosophy comes down to quality of life vs. quantity of life. If I hit my head, or have a stroke, and end up in a "persistent vegetative state", I do not want to have extreme measures taken to keep me alive. Do not give me a feeding tube if my cerebral cortex is toast. Let me die a dignified death, let my loved ones grieve my passing rather than struggle to keep my body going. And if at all possible, donate my organs. If there is no choice, and I have to die (or am already dead), let someone else have a chance at life.

I realize this entry probably has no legal basis, but at least now you know. And I'll urge you to write down your own wishes, just in case life turns its ugly side your way.

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